Thursday, February 28, 2013

We Are Getting Older


When I watched the Wanita Hari Ini TV show discussed about how women at forty can reduce the feeling of being threatened by their own age, it reminds me about what Professor Morrie once said about the fear of aging.

We were told by our society that the younger someone is the prettier they will be, the younger the healthier, the younger the better, and so on so forth. By this, we keep trying to get rid of aging process and hide it by struggling to get the younger looks. Yeah, it's not wrong to look younger than your age, but it indicates that people are afraid to grow older. They feel that they are threatened by the younger generations. (Women, especially). I wanna type here some of the sayings by Prof Morrie regarding this issue. Simple but deep. Very deep.

He said,

"I embrace aging. It's very simple. As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you'd always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you are going to die, it's also the positive that you understand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it. "

"If you've found meaning in your life, you don't want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more."

"If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it will happen anyhow."

"How can I be envious of where you are, when I've been there myself?" (This is the answer he gave when asked whether or not he envies younger people)

~Quotes taken from the book entitled: Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. ~

So it is understandable, right? That no matter what age you are at now, the most important thing is to treasure it, to make it significant, to do your best, and never feel the need of going back to the younger age. Aging adds life's experiences to you, or in sum, it makes you wiser. Remember, too many of us look back to our past and say: "Oh my God why I was so stupid last year." Yes, every year we have this kind of monologue within ourselves. Thank God we realize about it. :)

Our Prophet said that the only disease that can't be cured is old age. ((Allah has not created a disease except that He has created a cure for it; except for a single disease: old age. Tirmizee, 2039)) Embrace it. Age means time. And time means Allah is still giving you chance to improve yourself, to clean up your soul, to do more 'ibadah, to contribute more to the society, and to be more prepared to meet Him.

So ladies, what's there to be afraid of telling your real age? The longer you stay in the denial phase about your age, the more you'll feel down and unsatisfied. Nothing you can do to change your age, but you can add value to it.


p.s.: I am 26 and happy.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The Bond That We Have


Frustrating, isn't it? When people don't appreciate you the way you hope they will. Again and again, people will keep disappointing you. And the root of that disappointment is expectation. So, do we have to stop expecting? Live the life as if people around us are not attached to us and what they do don't disturb us at all?

I don't have the answer and in fact, I am looking for it. I just know that I really really really have to learn to stop depending on people to define MY happiness. Because people are very good at making you sad. Especially those who you labeled as 'people who matter'.

It's not that we really want to put expectations on others. I think somehow in every relationship that you have, the expectations are ready-made. Once they become important to you, automatically you will have this set of thinking that they will treat you kindly, or at least, won't hurt you the way you have never imagined. For me, a relationship is a consent between hearts, maybe two or more. Or else there will be no relationship built.

You know something? The more you are close to someone, the more power you are giving them to have control over your feelings. We might not notice that it works that way, but that's the reality. 'Others' is actually a big issue of our lives. We learn about life from them, they give us happiness, send us sadness, share hopes with us, and many other things regarding them that teach us more about life and how to deal with it. More importantly, their presences in our lives help us to survive in this world. We don't deny that in each phase of our life, we need people to help us feel alive.

If you love and care about someone, show it to them. (boyfriend-girlfriend thingy is out of list) Tell them what you think you need to tell them. Never try to intentionally hurt them, because truly the pain caused by the beloved ones is usually unbearable and takes a long time to be healed. If you really love and care about someone, seeing their tears rolling down the cheeks is something hurting you.

I am very sure that each and every sane human will have this one desire: to be noticed, and to know that their existence is appreciated. Tell the people you love that they matter to you. Be there when they need your help. Show them that their tears means something to you. Let them know that their happiness is your happiness. Offer them naseehah, help them to get up whenever they are feeling down. Sometimes they don't need soothing words, instead they just need a heart that can understand them, and a long hug to comfort them. It's not too hard to do that, isn't it?

People who come into your life are blessings from Allah, and those who love you, are indeed one of the greatest gifts you have. Appreciate them. If they hurt you, it doesn't mean that you are not loved. Everybody has their own way of expressing their love. It is the matter of accepting the fact that everyone is different. and the differences are the things that will complete us.




Obviously this is a new blog of me, but still the same me. The same stuffs to be shared, I guess.

Well, basically there's nothing new, except the blog.

The reason behind it?

Can I say, it's one of my ways to 'celebrate' the new me? I mean, the same me, but trying to be a better person, insha Allah.

If I don't write, something inside me will scream, wanting to be thrown out.

So i throw it here. :)

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