Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The Bond That We Have


Frustrating, isn't it? When people don't appreciate you the way you hope they will. Again and again, people will keep disappointing you. And the root of that disappointment is expectation. So, do we have to stop expecting? Live the life as if people around us are not attached to us and what they do don't disturb us at all?

I don't have the answer and in fact, I am looking for it. I just know that I really really really have to learn to stop depending on people to define MY happiness. Because people are very good at making you sad. Especially those who you labeled as 'people who matter'.

It's not that we really want to put expectations on others. I think somehow in every relationship that you have, the expectations are ready-made. Once they become important to you, automatically you will have this set of thinking that they will treat you kindly, or at least, won't hurt you the way you have never imagined. For me, a relationship is a consent between hearts, maybe two or more. Or else there will be no relationship built.

You know something? The more you are close to someone, the more power you are giving them to have control over your feelings. We might not notice that it works that way, but that's the reality. 'Others' is actually a big issue of our lives. We learn about life from them, they give us happiness, send us sadness, share hopes with us, and many other things regarding them that teach us more about life and how to deal with it. More importantly, their presences in our lives help us to survive in this world. We don't deny that in each phase of our life, we need people to help us feel alive.

If you love and care about someone, show it to them. (boyfriend-girlfriend thingy is out of list) Tell them what you think you need to tell them. Never try to intentionally hurt them, because truly the pain caused by the beloved ones is usually unbearable and takes a long time to be healed. If you really love and care about someone, seeing their tears rolling down the cheeks is something hurting you.

I am very sure that each and every sane human will have this one desire: to be noticed, and to know that their existence is appreciated. Tell the people you love that they matter to you. Be there when they need your help. Show them that their tears means something to you. Let them know that their happiness is your happiness. Offer them naseehah, help them to get up whenever they are feeling down. Sometimes they don't need soothing words, instead they just need a heart that can understand them, and a long hug to comfort them. It's not too hard to do that, isn't it?

People who come into your life are blessings from Allah, and those who love you, are indeed one of the greatest gifts you have. Appreciate them. If they hurt you, it doesn't mean that you are not loved. Everybody has their own way of expressing their love. It is the matter of accepting the fact that everyone is different. and the differences are the things that will complete us.


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