Thursday, January 30, 2014

Loving Strangers

Bismillah.

Some strangers
Are not really strangers in our lives
We might never meet them
But their words always comfort us perfectly
We might never hear their voices
But the warmth of their kindness
Hit us directly on the heart.

Strangers
They teach me that
sometimes love can be felt
Even without touches
And tender-heartedness is somehow
more important than the presence of the body.

She is a stranger
But she isn't strange
She's very familiar to my soul
Her prayers for me are
continuously being sent to the sky
And I hope all my prayers for her
Are now a part of her life.

Love is not a stranger
Love for a stranger isn't strange as well
Because whenever Allah puts the love in the hearts
Even two persons who live in two different worlds
Can finally meet in His mercy
And constantly exchanging the gift of prayers.

Love wins.
Love always wins.

P.s.: Thanks to my dear far away friend who gave me this novel. My very first Arabic novel. Alhamdulillah. ♡♡♡

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Moga Terhapus.

Bismillah.

Sewaktu di dunia mungkin kita tak mampu rasakan betapa pentingnya kewujudan 'penghapus2 dosa' dalam hidup kita.

Tapi bila di akhirat nanti, kita akan sedar pentingnya semua itu. Terutama bila kita harapkan mizan (timbangan) itu berat dengan pahala dan bukan sebaliknya.

Jadi, andai saat ini kita didatangi penghapus dosa seperti kesakitan, kesedihan, kerisauan dan juraian air mata, jangan mengeluh, jangan terus terusan menyalahkan diri. Bersyukurlah Allah masih beri peluang kepada kita untuk mengurangkan kuantiti dosa yang entah berapa banyak itu.

“Tidaklah menimpa seorang mukmin berupa rasa sakit (yang terus menerus), rasa letih, kekhawatiran (pada pikiran), sedih (kerana sesuatu yang hilang), kesusahan hati atau sesuatu yang menyakiti sampai pun duri yang menusuknya melainkan akan dihapuskan dosa-dosanya.' (Bukhari & Muslim)

Wallahua'lam.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Mend your Heart

Bismillah.

If you have pains in the heart
Or bruises from the past
Submit yourself to Allah
Plead to Him
Because only Allah can heal you

And because He is the only One
who can mend your heart.

Feel Him. He is there.
He is nearer than your own jugular vein.
Seek Him. You will find Him.

"Allah always 'speaks' to us. But the problem is, whether we are listening or not."

Allah Cares about You.

Bismillah.

When a friend tells me about how people around her keep complaining about her flaws (or things she did that don't please them), it somehow makes me feel so sad. Sad for her and for everyone that experiences the same thing. 

Yes it is such a heart breaking moment when you realized how much people are very well aware about your imperfections rather than the good deeds that you've done. All the sacrifices that you did seem like insignificant and never make them appreciate you. Is that an inborn attribute of human? I am not sure.

I just can say that lots of people (maybe not all) do realize the goodness in you and those kind deeds you've done, but only after you've gone from their lives (for a while or for a long period of time) or after you died. Serious talk.

However, how to soothe this sadness? A kind of dejection that keep making us feel gloomy for being not good enough in their eyes. We are not perfect, of course. But making people feel that they are never good enough for whatever they do is indeed a heart-wrenching thing. And at times, this situation is able to dig the rebellious feeling from the soul.

Maybe it's time for us to start depend and relate everything to Allah. You have done good deeds but they seem invisible to others eyes? Don't worry, Allah is Aware about those deeds and will definitely give you an abundance of rewards.

Regard other people's opinions about you as advices. Or perhaps you can try to forgive them (for hurting you with their words) by reminding yourself that they are doing so mainly because they love you and care about you.

If you feel hurt, remember one thing, don't do the same to others. Keep treating people the way you want to be treated. Overlook their flaws and appreciate/ compliment them for the beautiful simple things they've done. Society might hurt you again and again, but try to be a part of a new society where love and kindness are what really matter.

After all, remember that Allah knows. Allah never forgets. Allah cares about you more than others. What else matter more than that?

Wallahua'lam.


Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Sejenak. Sebentar. Sementara.

Bismillah.

Entri pendek sebelum masuk tidur. Sejak bergelar ibu, terlalu banyak perkara yg buat saya lebih faham akan hakikat hidup ini. Antaranya adalah tentang perpisahan dan keinginan yg tak terpenuhi.

Semua ibu pasti ada kisah sedih masing-masing dalam proses memisahkan anak dengan susu badan. Mungkin ada yang ambil masa singkat, ada yang tak mudah dan biasanya, proses itu pasti terselit deraian airmata si anak. Sungguh, ia satu fasa yg penuh emosi.

Terutama bagi anak2 yang 2tahun (atau lebih) menyusu badan, bukan mudah baginya untuk tiba-tiba kehilangan 'teman rapat'nya itu. Bayangkan kita ada seorang sahabat baik, yg sentiasa menenangkan kita, menemani kita tidur, dan hampir setiap masa tidak pernah jauh dari kita. Namun tiba satu ketika, sahabat itu harus pergi. Teman itu tiada lagi. Subhanallah sememangnya ia bukan satu perkara yg mudah untuk diharungi.

Sayu rasanya hati bila terfikirkan perkara itu. Mungkin tidak melampau andai saya katakan perpisahan seorang anak dgn susu ibu adalah antara perpisahan terawal dalam hidupnya. Dan dari situ dia mula belajar, bahawa

♤ Ada nikmat yg Allah beri, tapi ia takkan selamanya ada dengan kita.

♤ Perpisahan itu menyakitkan. Tapi cepat atau lambat, ia tetap akan sembuh satu hari nanti.

♤ Tak semua perkara yg kita sayang, yang kita mahu, akan selalu jadi milik kita. Kerana itulah sunnah kehidupan ini; segalanya berpenghujung.

♤ Menangis tak akan mengembalikan sesuatu yg hilang.

Nah. Mungkin saya sedikit exaggerate dalam meletakkan analogi itu dengan kehidupan setelah dewasa, namun itulah antara norma kehidupan yg saya pelajari dari seorang anak kecil. MashaAllah, rupanya sedari kecil lagi Allah mahu mengajar kita bahawa tiada yg kekal dengan dunia ini.

Kegembiraan kita tak kekal. Begitu juga dengan Kesedihan kita. Kerana itulah sunnah kehidupan dunia: sementara.

Wallahua'lam.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Astaghfirullah

Bismillah.

Kalau kita sedih
Kalau kita resah
Kalau kita susah
Kalau kita mahu zuriat
Kalau kita mahu dimurahkan rezeki
Kalau kita mahu hati bahagia
Kalau kita mahu Allah sayangkan kita

Istighfar lah.
Istighfar lah.
Istighfar lah.
InshaAllah Dia mudahkan apa yg sulit.
InshaAllah Dia beri apa yg sebelum ini kita tak punya.

Ia petua yg Allah ajarkan pada kita.
Disebut dalam surah Nuh.
Bukan sekadar untuk dibaca.
Namun penuh pengajaran kepada kita.
Jika kita benar-benar mahu mengambil hikmahnya.

Ayuh lazimkan istighfar.
Istighfar dengan penuh pengharapan

Agar Dia mengampunkan....

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Reclaiming My Heart

Bismillah.

I am currently reading an insightful book written by sis Yasmin Mogahed. I bought it at Kinokuniya and it means I bought it with a very high price compared to other book outlets.  I didn't know that I can buy it with a way cheaper price from MPH or online. But it's okay, coz it is really worth it. :)

I haven't finished reading it yet. Not even halfway done, though I already started reading it about a month ago. I just have a long list of "currently-reading". Plus, I intentionally read it slowly and thoroughly, so that I won't finish and close the book early and could understand it better without rushing to the last page. It feels good to know that the book is waiting for me everyday to ponder upon every phrase in it. Wallahi almost every word written by her really hits me. It really does.

I can say that this book suits everyone of us. It talks about issues and stuffs that happen to almost everybody. Each topic is written in a short length but it is very significant. Significant with our lives, our dealing with God, family, enemies, as well as with ourselves.

I will share some quotes from the book that I really love and give me 'aha' moment.

☆ This life isn't perfect. It isn't perfectly good. But it also isn't perfectly bad.

☆ My laughter won't last forever, but neither will my tears.

☆ Allah gives us gifts, but then we often become dependant on those gifts instead of Him.

☆ God is always 'speaking'. The question is whether we are listening.

☆ It's human to want the gifts we love. But our problems begin when we put the gift in our heart, and God in our hand. (We believe we can live without God but can't go on when we lost the gift. Na'udzubillah)

☆ We put aside our Real air, and then wonder why we can't breathe. We stick the knife to our chest and then cry because it hurts. So much.

☆ It is our own objects of attachment (the things we love more than God) that kill us.

☆ The irony is that many of us have lost God in our lives and we think we are still alive.

:)

Will share more later, inshaAllah.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Paranoid. I am.

Bismillah.

My baby is now 31 months old. But looking back at my blogs (current and previous), I realized that I don't share much about my baby, motherhood, parenting or anything related to my status as a mother.

It's not because I have nothing to say about it. I do have lots and lots of stories and experiences throughout my journey in raising my daughter. I just don't feel good to keep writing or sharing about each and everything that happened between me and my baby. Sometimes when I see my friends' blog/facebook/twitter etc, they make it very obvious that they are a mom (this is a compliment). And comparing me to them, I do really feel that I am less mom. I am not sure if you get it but I hope you do.

Maybe some of you know that one time ago I did have a blog specially created for my baby. At first I granted access to friends that requested to read it. But after a few months, and after a few posts about the way I teach my baby, this and that tips of this and that, I began to feel afraid and uncomfortable. I told my friends that I am very sorry coz I need to delete them from my readers' list. And now, I no longer update it. I don't know why. Busy is not a valid excuse, ever.

Have you ever got this bad feeling? A feeling of down or envy whenever you read about other people's lives? I admit that sometimes I do feel that way, especially when I read how others (usually my friends) share the stories of how they raise their kids, how clever their kids are, pictures of activities that they did together, the step by step guide for this and that bla3. Why I feel that way? Because it will make me think that I am a bad mom for not doing the same thing they did or not being able to give my baby the stuffs that others gave their children. It makes me doubt myself and ask, if I don't do like them, am I not good enough then? Are there mistakes and weaknesses in my way of teaching my kid?

Maybe I am being too paranoid about it. I don't say it's bad for mothers to share their parenting journeys. In fact, it is a good thing to be done. To inspire others, to give ideas, to give new information and so on so forth. It's just that, as for me, I don't want to let people experience what I felt. I do share writings about motherhood, but I will try to not to make them as a story genuinely about me and my baby, instead I try to make it as a general article not personal.

I don't want people to feel that they are not good enough. I don't want to tell things that in the end will make people feel demotivated for not being able/not having time to do things that I do. I really hate it if some mothers feel down when they see other kids are more advance in their physical or mental development compared to their kids.

As for me, I would love to share about my stories,  especially if you ask me personally. I rarely start telling people about what I did or gonna do with my baby unless someone requested me to do so. Maybe I feel shy or don't feel that what I've done is worth to be shared. Plus, I am very afraid that I might sound as if I am bragging or showing off about my life. Na'udzubillah. Honestly I am afraid.

I don't know, maybe I think too much about what others will say. Or my level of being paranoid is getting higher. I admit that I always think complicated hence this rubbish post. Maybe I need to change the way I am thinking. I will, though.

Thanks for reading.

p.s.: Mothers, you are doing good. You are the north star of your kids no matter how others see you. Please never feel bad about your ways of teaching your kids, especially when it is due to what you saw others did. Just because you don't do what they do, it doesn't mean you are not good enough. Yes, we will probably make an abundance of mistakes, but that's where we learn to become a better mother.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

I Write For Myself

Bismillah.

I love writing.
I love sharing the info I know (not necessarily what I practice).
I love expressing thoughts thru writing.
I love learning to write by writing and make mistakes.

I don't write because I feel I am flawless.
I don't write to show off the current life of me.
I don't write to tell the world about everything I have done.
I don't write because I want people to know my problems.

I write because I want to have something that one day will remind me of who I once was.
I write because I want to read my own writings and cry after realizing that I don't apply what I write.
I write because I want my daughter to know me, read about me, and touch my thoughts after she grows up and understand more about life.
I write because I feel the urge to do so.


Maafkan Dirimu

Bismillah.

Kadang-kadang kita rasa terlalu susah untuk bergerak seiring masa. Dan terlalu sukar rasanya untuk mata dan hati ini hanya fokus menuju masa depan. Semuanya gara-gara:

1. Masih ada perasaan lama, yang tak pergi bersama masa yang berlalu

2. Masih ada kisah lalu yang tergantung, yang membuatkan minda seringkali mencipta drama babak pengakhirannya.

3. Masih ada luka lama yang bersarang, yang belum menjadi parut apatah lagi untuk hilang dalam diam.

4. Masih ada kesilapan manusia lain terhadap kita, yang kita rasakan tidak pantas untuk memaafkan mereka.

5. Masih ada dosa lalu yang belum terampun. Yang masih tersimpan di dalam hati.

6. Masih ada keinginan untuk mengejar masa lalu, yang padanya ada sesuatu yg kita rasa mampu bahagiakan kita.

7. Masih ada kisah lalu tentang diri kita, yang masih belum kita mampu terima dengan rela hati. Lantas selamanya ia menghantui kita.

Lalu apa yang kita harus lakukan untuk benar2 ikhlas melepaskan masa lalu dan melangkah kaki menuju masa hadapan dengan senang hati? Syaitan sememangnya tidak putus2 membisikkan pada kita akan hal2 yg seringkali membuat hati kita keluh kesah. Antara hal yg masih lagi berlegar2 dalam kotak fikiran adalah dosa masa lalu yg sering menghantui.

Kita selalu menjadi tertanya2 mengapa kisah lama itu belum benar2 pergi dan mengapa suatu masa dahulu diri kita terlalu bodoh kerana melakukan perkara yg tidak sepantasnya kita lakukan. MAAFKANLAH DIRI SENDIRI. TERIMALAH BAHAWA DIRI KITA PENUH KEKURANGAN, DAN CUBALAH CARI DIRI YG LEBIH BAIK DAN USAH BERHENTI BERHARAP AGAR ALLAH MENGAMPUNI KITA DAN MEMBERI YG TERBAIK UNTUK KITA.

Semua kita adalah pendosa. Namun taubatlah yg akan membezakan kita.

MashaAllah, ada pengajaran yg besar dari konsep taubat yg Islam ajarkan. Taubat mengajar kita bahawa
 
- Selama kita masih bernyawa, kita sentiasa ada satu pintu yg takkan sekali2 tertutup buat kita.

- semua manusia tidak sempurna, dan bisa sahaja jatuh tersungkur. Namun kita mampu menjadi lebih baik jika adanya cetusan dan keinginan utk berubah.

-kisah lalu seharusnya dibiarkan dalam masa lalu dan teruslah mengejar yg di hadapan kita. Tanamkan azam utk berubah menjadi lebih baik dan biarkan kisah lalu menjadi pengajaran, bukan harapan.

-Kita sentiasa ada Allah yg mahu menerima kita saat manusia seluruhnya menolak kita.

Subhanallah. Allah selalu menanti kita untuk kembali kepadaNya. Allah tidak menilai kita dengan masa lalu kita.

Selain bertaubat, jangan lupa utk Maafkan diri sendiri. Usah terusan mencaci diri yg dahulu sekiranya kita sudah bertekad untuk melangkah ke hadapan. Kita punya Dia, yg menerima kita tak kira seburuk apapun kisah lalu yg pernah kita corakkan.

Teruslah memandang ke hadapan. Kejar cintaNya. Kejar bahagia di sana.

No matter how deep the pain is, no matter how broken our heart is, Allah can mend it. Allah can heal us as if the wound was never there before.

Wallahua'lam.

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